Then came the day in January

Then came the day in January

Take good care of yourself,
I had said to him.
Of course I do,
I always do, was his answer.
Ten minutes later he was dead.
I found out from the police.
Two hours later!
He wanted to drive to work.
It was snowing and the roads were slippery.
There was also fog.
He died on the spot.
The doctor who came with the police told me.
He didn't feel anything.
"But "I"
"I" now feel the pain deep in my heart.
He had just turned 25.
I loved him very much.
He was my friend, my lover, my husband,
my cuddly bear.
Then came the day in January.
The truck driver who tore up his car,
had a blood alcohol level of 2.8, was driving 120 km-h,
in fog, snow and black ice.
"He" survived.
He is 68 years old. 
Too old for this job.
Then came the day in January.
He died instantly.
I'm at home. 
Take his sweater in my hand.
Smell it. 
Press it to my chest.
Cry, look at the clock.
Take good care of yourself,
"I said to him"
It was his last kiss.
My heart clenches.
I go to the nearby forest.
I want to be alone,
Alone with myself and with my pain.
It begins to snow, fog rolls in.
And then, "someone calls my name."
Quietly at first, then louder and louder.
I hear a bang.
A figure emerges from the fog.
It's him, oh my God. "It's him."
He comes to me.
He looks at me.
He kisses me.

And as he dissolves into "nothingness," he calls out to me,
"Take good care of yourself",
and -
"I love you."
Then came the day in the...
The day he died was his birthday.
Take good care of yourself I said to him.
As he is saying to me now.
Take good care of yourself.
Take good care of yourself.

Thomas-Otto Heiden

• Autorensteckbrief von Thomas-Otto Heiden
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