« The Blood Vacuumer »

 The Blood Vacuumer
(or how to become a human vampire)



I know, my English isn't well
but anyway, I have to tell
a story, which might has been true
and which was told by Suzi Q.

One day there was a blood vacuumer
who looked at midnight for consumer,
who'll give him some fresh blood to drink
to become human � so I think.

As first he tried Amanda Lear.
But quickly him was really clear,
that her blood wasn't good enough.
That's why he surched another stuff.

The next was Misses Applebee.
Her blood was gone and not to see!
Than Lucy � who was in the sky �
her blood was diamondly too high!

And Angie, who came down the stone �
her blood was simply also gone.
That's why he went to Maggie's Farm �
but there she wanted him to harm.

Rosanna seemed to him too dirty;
Miss Rigby wasn't nearly thirty;
Nikita tasted him too strong
and Mary Lou was also wrong.

The vacuumer soon got nerved,
untill a Barmaid came and served
a drink � downstairs in the nightbar
of Hotel California.

After he drunk the magic thing
it suddenly was making "bling"
The vacuumer just became
a human vacuumerman.

How happy he was now at all!
The two teeth nearly became small.
And 'cause he likes this magic swill
he ordered her: "Go on, I will

need more of this � and tell me quick
how's called this great drinkable trick."
"By Good! You don't know? What a shame!
Well, Bloody Mary is the name."

The vacuumer became white
and for a minute he was quite.
Then he told: "Well, I should have known,
the only drink that helps my own
is just the blood of this young maid.
I hope she'll never dies" � he said.

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